11.21.09
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Dolores dice...Grin and Bare it?

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Dear Dolores:

I’ve been with my partner for two years. I love him very much, but he has a problem. He’s a porn freak. He loves it. I know it’s a guy thing, but I can’t stand it. We’ve had bad fights about it, but he always says, “It’s my fantasy. I can’t stop it.” I almost don’t want him to touch me or even look at me anymore. I don’t know what to do.

—Catalina in California

Dear Catalina:

I’m going to rant about this a bit so bear (or should I say “bare”?) with me. Some sort of erotic visual stimulation can certainly play a role in the bedroom as a motivator, a fun guide or a learning tool for both partners. But a guy who sits in front of a computer screen all day watching porn and fantasizes about making imaginary love to a peroxide blonde with humongous silicone breasts is just pathetic. And infantile. According to statistics, the majority of internet pornography consumers are pimply teenagers. (Poor things. They’re growing up with overblown unrealistic expectations of the equipment and performance of future, real life sex partners.)

It’s fashionable nowadays to tell women to join their porn addicted hombres in their guilty pleasures, wear a dominatrix outfit and make their own XXX home movies. Which is fine—as long as you enjoy doing it and get a written promise that the movie won’t end up on Youtube. But if you truly dislike porn and think it’s degrading to women, don’t do it. Why do women always have to fulfill male fantasies? How about our fantasies? Maybe your man will grow out of it, but if he doesn’t, you might want to try a more radical three step cure:

  1. Sleep in a Plexiglas tent where he can see but not touch you.
  2. Throw the computer out the window.
  3. Kick him to the curb.

Remeber ladies, it’s all about what you are willing to put up with.

—You don't just have to grin and bare it, D

Need some advice? Have a burning question you must have answered by our very own Dolores? Send your inquiries to dolores.dice@latina.com!     

3 Comments
After 2 years this is not going to change, and you shouldn't have to compete with a bimbo in a porno flick, kick him to the curb. You deserve better than that.
I had the same issue with my husband. It got so bad that I even threatened to divorce him cause my needs werent being met. I told him that I didnt see us staying together at this rate if things didnt change (we had been married less then a year). We sought counseling cause I wanted to understand him and have him understand what it was doing me. Weve been doing great. He chose me instead. I wish you the best of luck. I wasnt gonna deal with it anymore, and I would of been able to find plenty of men who would love to have a fiery latina that can cook with the best..and he knew that...:)
Sounds like it has become a power struggle between the both of you. After two years you should be at a point where you accept it as a part of who he is and you aren't going to change him. If the porn really is the problem and you aren't willing to accept it then I agree with D and kick him to the curb because this isn't going away, you aren't going to change him and your needs are not being met. Buena suerte~

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