Dear Dolores:

I’ve been with my partner for two years. I love him very much, but he has a problem. He’s a porn freak. He loves it. I know it’s a guy thing, but I can’t stand it. We’ve had bad fights about it, but he always says, “It’s my fantasy. I can’t stop it.” I almost don’t want him to touch me or even look at me anymore. I don’t know what to do.

—Catalina in California

Dear Catalina:

I’m going to rant about this a bit so bear (or should I say “bare”?) with me. Some sort of erotic visual stimulation can certainly play a role in the bedroom as a motivator, a fun guide or a learning tool for both partners. But a guy who sits in front of a computer screen all day watching porn and fantasizes about making imaginary love to a peroxide blonde with humongous silicone breasts is just pathetic. And infantile. According to statistics, the majority of internet pornography consumers are pimply teenagers. (Poor things. They’re growing up with overblown unrealistic expectations of the equipment and performance of future, real life sex partners.)

It’s fashionable nowadays to tell women to join their porn addicted hombres in their guilty pleasures, wear a dominatrix outfit and make their own XXX home movies. Which is fine—as long as you enjoy doing it and get a written promise that the movie won’t end up on Youtube. But if you truly dislike porn and think it’s degrading to women, don’t do it. Why do women always have to fulfill male fantasies? How about our fantasies? Maybe your man will grow out of it, but if he doesn’t, you might want to try a more radical three step cure:

1. Sleep in a Plexiglas tent where he can see but not touch you.
2. Throw the computer out the window.
3. Kick him to the curb.

Remeber ladies, it’s all about what you are willing to put up with.

—You don't just have to grin and bare it, D

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