Dear Dolores:

I'm very proud to be Latina, but it infuriates me when my non-Latino boyfriend introduces me by nationality. He'll say something like, "This is Valeria, she's Dominican." Wink, wink. I don't even get it! And it is so annoying. How can I let him know how much this bothers me without blowing up in his face about it?

—Valeria, NYC

Dear Valeria:

Easy! Don't discuss it right after it happens when you are already irritated. Wait until you can have a normal conversation about it. Then, just tell him how you feel and ask him why he feels the need the announce your nationality. I wonder what it means to his friends? Or, you can be a little less subtle and the next time you introduce him to your friends say, "Heeeeeeere's Johnny! He's a gringo!" Shrug, shrug. But mainly you've got to get to the bottom of why he feels the need to address your culture. One way or another, these are the little (and not so little) things that have to be aired out when entering into an intercultural relationship. 

— If you think he's worth it, hang in there! D