Dimelo: "Is My Boyfriend’s Mom Trying to Kill Me with Her Food?"


Dear Pauline,

I've come to the conclusion that my new boyfriend's mother hates me. He's invited me over for dinner on multiple occasions, and each time she has served me a meal made with nuts, to which I'm deathly allergic. She knows about my allergy—my boyfriend has reminded her time and again. On Thanksgiving, she once again extended an invitation to her home and my boyfriend practically begged me to come. I agreed, even stopping at the florist for a hostess gift. Not only did she complain about the arrangement I chose for her but I was served a meal containing nuts and spent the next day recovering. I really think she is doing this on purpose. I really like my boyfriend but I'm not sure the relationship is worth the drama. What do you think I should do?


Going Nuts


Dear Nuts,

Ay, Dios mio. For serious? My first instinct is to tell you to run for the hills, preferably screaming at the top of your lungs all the way. Your boyfriend's mother is either trying to kill you because she thinks mijo could do better or...never mind, I really think the woman is just trying to kill you.

You've got a few options for how to proceed. You could:

a) Stick with Prince Charming and start brown-bagging it whenever you get a dinner invite and to hell with who's feelings get hurt.

b) Sit your man down for a talk in which you tell him to get his balls out of Mami's apron pockets and stand up for you and your allergy or you are going to find a new guy.

c) Give la suegra loca one more chance, but skip the bouquet of flowers and just hand her your epi pen when you sit down to eat. (Okay, wait a minute. Hand it to your boyfriend instead. That's probably safer.)

d) Log on to the dating site Singleswithfoodallergies.com. You're welcome.

In all seriousness, there is a chance your boyfriend's mother isn't a psychopath and actually just doesn't think your allergy is a thing. My husband and daughter have celiac disease (she's also allergic to strawberries), and I'm allergic to everything from bananas to gluten to broccoli. I can't even tell you how many times we've had to explain to friends and family alike that we aren't just making stories up because we like looking crazy. In fact, as I write this, we are sitting home on a Friday night instead of at my husband's office holiday party because we couldn't guarantee the buffet-style dinner would be safe for us to eat.

Food allergies are only guaranteed to be taken seriously by the people who have them. Whether your boyfriend's mami is purposely trying to off you with her cooking or just thinks you are making as big deal out of nothing, the bottom line is that your life is at stake. If he can't stand up to his mother on your behalf on important issues like you and, you know...breathing...then it's time to cut your losses (or count your blessings, depending on your outlook) and break up with both of them.-- I'm allergic to B.S., too.

- P