I'm a mother of four and I'm dreading the holidays. I miss my family being whole. This time last year, we were, hasta que he went and cheated on me and I kicked him out. I know my ex is a total d*ck but he had his moments. He has this little dimple when he smiles and he's a great dad and we fit perfectly when we spooned at night. Ay dios mio...
I just don't think I'm ready to face the holiday season alone. I'm very close to caving the next time he calls trying to talk me into letting him come back home. What do you think I should do?
I had this boyfriend once who was so sweet and always treated me like a queen...mainly when I was sleeping and only in my dreams. The guy was a total a-hole otherwise, mainly because mentioning he was married before I upended my world and moved in with him might have been something I may have wanted to actually know. He was charming and adorable and handsome and always put my needs before his own, and if I closed my eyes and squinted really really hard, the bad parts were barely even noticeable.
Why am I telling you this? Because I wasted a good six months on este baboso and no matter how hard I wish them back, I'm never getting the moments I spent with him back. You don't need to be making the same mistake, amiga.
Don't drag yourself down focusing on the best parts of the bad. Every a-hole has his or her good days. And while he's the father of your children, he's also NOT the person you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. You decided that because you decided you are worth a healthy relationship and deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Focus on THAT.
Just promise me one thing, okay? If the need to spoon and cuddle become overbearing as the holidays draw closer, you'll adopt a puppy before you do something stupid. Like tell your ex that you miss him.
Hold your head high, amiga, and focus instead on the four beautiful hearts you are raising. There's your magic right there. -- You are anything but alone.
Pauline Campos is Latina Magazine's #DIMELO advice columnist. Email her your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org. Connect with her on her blog, www.aspiringmama.com and follow her on twitter: @pauline_campos.
Find me at about.me/paulinecampos. Beware of rabbit holes.