I am so completely confused right now because I'm dealing with two relationships. I don't know what to do! Relationship # 1 is with the boyfriend I fell in love with after we stopped actually dating. We are still social media friends but neither one of us brought up our past or a possible future. I don't know if he loves me like I love him, so started Relationship # 2. The problem is I can't stop thinking about the first guy and wonder if he loves me, even the tiniest bit, after so many years. I feel bad because I thought my second boyfriend would help me forget about the first one when all I do is wonder if I still have a chance with the first one.
Dear Eternally Hopeful,
M'ija? You did read your question to me before sending it in, right? Because if I'm understanding you correctly, you are telling me you are confused because you are in love with the guy not showing an interest in you while wondering why you aren't in love with the guy you started dating only to distract you from loving the first guy? (My head hurts from just typing that!) Let's take this one step at a time, okay?
1 - I'm betting you've got a great personality and are a blast to be around but it's time to let the flame die for Senor Unrequited Love. Social Media friends or not, you are only hurting yourself by allowing yourself to focus on the What Ifs instead of just cutting your loses and moving on.
I'm betting Captain Clueless won't notice if you unfriend or unfollow, which I highly recommend be your first step. I've been where you are and trust me, amiga, when I say that you are only hurting yourself. Until you see yourself worthy of your own best intentions, don't hold your breathe on anyone else writing your happy ending for you.
2. I'm just going to pretend you sent me an update telling me how you realized it wasn't fair to lead the second guy on, because it isn't and PROGRESS!! So this is where I tell you how proud of you I am. Then you say Gracias and I nod my head and say You're *Welcome*.
3. You nod your head and tell me how you kind of figured I'd suggest a Relationship Embargo of sorts, because you are a smart girl and know how important it is to find your own sense of self before trying to define yourself as part of a couple. And I am thoroughly impressed. --Aren't you glad we had this talk?
Pauline Campos is Latina Magazine's #DIMELO advice columnist. Email her your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org. Connect with her on her blog, www.aspiringmama.com and follow her on twitter: @pauline_campos.