When Did "Entourage” Become “Sex and the City?”

In past seasons of HBO’s hit comedy series Entourage, the boys had one-night stands with hot women, partied at Casa Jessica Alba, smoked weed with an L.A. Sherpa (guest star Val Kilmer), got wet at bikini-clad pool parties in Malibu, and put on their pajamas for a party at Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion. There was even a Ménage à trois in one episode. But if you liked any of those episodes, you probably wont like the show’s less edgy upcoming sixth season (premiering July 12 at 10:30 p.m.), as it promises to be much more about feelings, intimacy issues, loneliness and growing up.

In the new season, the one-time commitment-phobic boys from Queens act more like single New York women searching for love than they do rich bachelors on the prowl. There’s a lot of talk about loneliness, growing up, isolation, settling down, and man's inability to commit. I almost vomited. And I half-expected Vince to say the words: “Meanwhile, across town,” or Eric to accept an Apple Martini, compliments of the gentleman across the bar. Sloan (guest star Emmanuelle Chriqui) is back, and she looks great, but man is she annoying this season! She wants to be just “friends” with Eric, yet she’s playing some serious games with his head.

At one point Eric contemplates the idea of a move away from casa Vince, but he has to talk to Vince about it—a lot! They share their feelings on the subject like Carrie and Miranda would over a Cosmopolitan in midtown, and man is it a snore fest! Check out this incredibly original dialogue: Vince: “If you want to get your house get it.” Eric: “C’mon Vince, you don’t like to be alone. Have you ever lived by yourself?” Vince: “Have you?” Wow! Now that’s entertainment.

Meanwhile, across town, Turtle, who almost never has a girlfriend, is loving the fact that he’s the only one guaranteed "to have sex” with his hot TV-star girlfriend, Cubana Jamie-Lynn Sigler (playing a version of herself in a guest starring role that began last season). Jamie is also pushing Turtle to finally grow up and become his own man—away from Vince.

Drama doesn’t have a girlfriend in the early episodes of the new season, but he might as well. He doesn’t live with the guys anymore, and he works a lot of late-nights on his successful TV show, which he of course loves, but it keeps him away from the crew. Spoiler Alert: The final shot of episode 1—which is the most ridiculous part of the episode—has Vince sitting alone quietly in his living room, while all of the boys are out doing their own thing. Eric is with Sloan, Turtle is with Jamie, and Drama’s off happily pulling all-nighters on his TV show. The scene is supposed to be sad and touching, but it comes off as frivolous and forced.

What has happened to the rebellious, bad ass show I used to watch about four bachelors who partied like it was 1999 night after night? Where are the eccentric Holly-weird characters, like loose cannon/indie-film director Billy Walsh (Rhys Coiro), or that pudgy, potty-mouthed jerk Harvey Weinstein? Where’s Gary Busey as a tortured artist trying to channel Drama’s inner pain? And where’s the humor? As the late Heath Ledger would say: “Why. So. Serious?”