Why We Need To Stop Asking Women When They're Having Kids

6.1 million.

That’s how many women between the ages of 15 and 44 have difficulty getting pregnant, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). That's a crazy number -- and it amounts to just about 10 percent of women in the United States. 

Why then -- when the numbers are so high -- do people still find it acceptable to ask childfree women when they're planning on having kids? 

Last month, a reporter from the Telegraph UK asked Cameron Diaz about her plans for having children. Diaz, 41-years-old and never married, answered with more class than the question or the interviewer deserved. 

"I've never said never to anything in life," she responded. "If I wanted kids, at any point in life, I would have them. But, I'm certain that if at any point I wanted a child, that child would find its way into my life, whether through adoption or through being in a relationship with somebody who has a child." 

"I can't see the future, but one thing I do know is that I'm not childless," she continued. "I have a ton of children in my life. I can have a kid any second, if I want. All my friends would be like, 'Sure, come and get them!'"

Diaz answered reasonably and rationally to an unreasonable question. She never mentions physically birthing any children. She simple states that she already has many children in her life. In fact, she already refers to herself as the "auntie" to Drew Barrymore'children, Olive and Frankie, and loves to babysit them. Unfortunately, other news outlets found her remarks to be "offensive to mothers everywhere." 

"Any mom who has been desperately trying for a baby knows that becoming a parent isn't something you can just do on a whim after some big lightbulb moment," the Stir wrote. "To hear it talked about in such a casual way is absolutely maddening."

You know what maddens me? The fact that not one single reporter knows Cameron Diaz's personal story, but still feels free to ask her invasive questions about something as deeply personal as having children. For all we know, Diaz suffers from infertility problems. That question could be a painful reminder about her attempts -- and failures -- to become pregnant. To put it bluntly, asking such a question without knowing someone's full health history makes you a rude, insensitive, and disrespectful person. Period.

On the flipside, perhaps Diaz doesn't suffer from infertility problems. Maybe she simply doesn't want kids. 

And that brings me to another very good reason to avoid asking women when they plan on getting knocked up: because it's none of your damn business. 

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About this author

Cristina Arreola, Editorial Assistant

Originally from El Paso, Texas, Cristina Mari Arreola earned her degree at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University before moving to BrooklynNew York. In her downtime, you can usually find her scouring the city for the most authentic Mexican food (still looking...), scaring herself silly watching horror movies, or baking her favorite sweets. You can follow her on Twitter at @c_arreola

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