Danny Trejo is perhaps the meanest mofo to ever hit Hollywood—if you need proof, check out his starring role in Machete Kills, in theaters tomorrow. Yet, the Latina staff would like to think the Mexican American actor is a big softie (and he is a sweetheart, whenever we interview him). Therefore, we reimagined his gory Robert Rodriguez-directed sequel as Machete Chills. Click and fall in love.
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Machete Chills at a Bar Mitzvah
Machete will teach little Ari how to truly become a man.
Machete Chills at Fashion Week
Anna Wintour and Nicole Kidman will not be in the front row for long.
Machete Chills at a Bridal Shower
Per Machete, the perfect bridal shower gift is a machete (duh!).
Machete Chills with Abuelita
She’s the only one who can tame Machete.
Machete Chills at a One Direction Concert
Machete is a big Harry Styles fan. And what Machete wants he gets!
Machete Chills at the Beach
Machete doesn’t like to tan but he enjoys the view. Hello, ladies!
Machete Chills with the Kardashians
“Girls, say hello to your new dad, Machete,” Kris Jenner tells her daughters.
Machete Chills with Puppies
The only thing Machete loves more than killing is puppies.