Jennifer Lopez on her Idol Breakdown: "I'm Very in Control of My Emotions"

After sending contestant Chris Medina home on last night’s American Idol, Jennifer Lopez broke down crying. This morning, Lopez explained her emotional breakdown to Ryan Seacrest on his morning radio show, On Air with Ryan Seacrest.

“I didn’t break down when he was there necessarily—after he left it really hit me,” said Lopez of Medina. “I just couldn’t believe that I had to deliver this news to this person who I felt had been through a lot and is going through a lot. I felt like I didn’t do it well enough for him to send him where he needed to go in his life and be OK, and I didn’t want to be a part of that moment in his life.”

Lopez said the fact that Chris handled it with such dignity and so much class made it even harder on her. “I was like, 'he’s so awesome! I respect this person so much.' It was just tough,” she said.

But don’t expect Lopez to get that emotional on too many episodes of Idol. “It’s not going to be something you see all of the time,” she said. “I’m very in control of my emotions. I’ve had to be over the years. Being in the public eye you have to learn to suck it up,” she explained.