11.20.09
LIFESTYLE

10 Ways To Tell You're Latina

Retna Ltd.

With all the recent frenzy about who is Latina and who isn't (Fergie, J. Alba , etc.) we decided to create the definitive lists of characteristics that can help you determine whether or not you have what it takes to be Latina.

You know you are Latina:

  1. If you can't fight the urge to clap on a plane that has just landed!
  2. If your boyfriend plucks, waxes or in any other way grooms his eyebrows even more than you do, then you are most likely a Latina...dating a Latino!
  3. If even though you're fluent in English, you still refer to going grocery shopping as a compra.
  4. If you have ever committed the cardinal sin and fashion faux pas of wearing socks with sandals!
  5. If something immensely sad or something immensely adorable both elicit the exact same response of "Ay Bendito!".
  6. If your grandmother's chancletas seemed to have some mystical boomerang powers, you know, she threw it at you and somehow it was magically back in her hand before you could even look up from your hiding place, then you are definitely Latina!
  7. If Vick's VaporRub was pronounced Bibaporú and used by everyone in your family to cure anything from burns to acne to La Gripa to infertility.
  8. If you have ever sat down on a couch and then immediately fallen off because of the slippery smooth surface created by the plastic covering the entire living room set...Latina all the way baby!
  9. If you grew up with a mother and/or grandmother who made you eat a ton of their food to prove how much you loved them, and then called you gordita five minutes later while pinching your chichos!
  10. If you are completely fed up with being called, fiery, spicy, caliente or any other adjective that could also describe a chili pepper, you are absolutely, positively, undeniably Latina.

What do you think? Let us know and be sure to share any other surefire sign of Latinidad with us!

95 Comments
I think a lot of these things are applied to Latinos who live in the United States, not just Mexicans. (With the exception of the Vaporub...LOL. I always pronounce it Pepto BisMOL and ExceDRIN due to my mamita.) The plastic covering on the sofa...I've never seen that. The overplucking/grooming of Latino men...never seen that either...Love the list though.
Poor thing!! Can anyone recommend a good phychiatry to "palmirena sin igual" because she can't handle her trauma. PLEASE! if you don't want to understand the concept of the article then don't even bother making a comment because it shows your inferiority complexes and how ignorant you are.
This list is supposed to be FUNNY! hahahaha, a joke, a chiste. Something that makes you laugh, don't take everything so literally! Loosen up and smile...
I am definitely latina and proud of it, but your list is way off base. Not a single item on your list applies to me nor does it apply to any of my amigas latinas. We are Chilenas, Argentinas, Colombianas, and Cubanas with diverse histories and backgrounds; you can't make a definitive list of what makes us who we are.
Heres a few-latinas tend to keep their dressers filled with perfumes and cremas, make-up, y otras porquerias. Funny thing is, we dont use most of it. Si a caso, we use at least 2 or 3 of about 50 things on the dresser. We also love to keep the mirror llena de retratos of the family. My mom also used to write her name on the mirror w/ lipstick. (Complete waste of beautiful lipstick that make your lips pretty)jajaja Sigan escribiendo! Me estoy riendo a to lo queda.
Your Definetly latina if you keep pots in the oven even though there are cabinets you can put them in or if you can't leave the house without first getting a blessing from yor mom,aunt,or grandmother=)
Palmireña sin igual. Por que te ofendes tanto. Si ser latina no es solo esta lista. I que tienen las columbianas que las demas latinas no tenemos. Yo soy Puetoriqueña y me siento que mucho de lo que se dice aqui es parte de la comunidad latina. Pero tenemos otras diferecias tambien. Como tu dices nosotros decimos ir de compra usted ir de vuelta. Para nosotros ir de vuelta seria ir de paseo y a la esquina. No se porque te defiendes tanto de ser diferente a las demas latina. Eres colombiana y eso lo dice todo.
If you constantly refer to cereal as "con fleys". 10) If you are in a five passenger car with seven people in it and a person is shouting "subanse, todavia caben!" 11) If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some "vapor rub" all over your chest and inside your nostrils. Good ol' vapor rub " mentolatum "... jajaja. i cant help but laugh... and yes, the "caliente, spicy" comments are gettin quite old... especially when they ask your nationality and you reply "Chile" .... just imagine.... jajajaja maybe it was funny the first time... Im so happy see theres a magazine like this, and receiving it here in Australia !!! No matter where you are in the world, you are bound to bump into a Latin American.. A proud Latin American at that... we definitly are a beautiful race, no doubt.
This list probably should be called: 10 ways to tell you are MEXICAN.. because colombian people in colombia we are not like the list described at all..!!
This is a funny if you can take a joke with some truth running through it: - Sheck your Mexican status If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas....Your a Mexican!! If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business...Yes, you're a Mexican. If you pronounce words beginning with the letter 'S' by putting an 'E' in front of it, (estop instead of stop)...big time Mexican. If you call a chair, a sher, you got it.... Mexican. If you have ever hurt yourself and your mama rubbed the area while chanting, ' Sana , Sana , Colita de rana.....' You're Mexican, big time!!! If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere, your car, truck, or tattooed on your back...Yes, you ARE a Mexican (proud one too). If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina, your wifa, your old lady, mija or your vieja, guess what?...Not only are you a Mexican, you're a cholo. If you throw a 'Grito' every time you hear Vicente Fernandez...then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican. If you have ever been pinched in church and been told 'pobrecito de ti si lloras' or 'Vas a ver orita que salgamos.' ...Yes, you're definitely a Mexican. If you grew up being called 'chamaca or chamaco' ..Mexican. If you grew up scared of La Llorona, or fear the dark because of El CuCuy! ..Yes! Mexican! Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing....You're in the Mexican Zone!!! If you ask for something by 'dame esa chingadera' instead of calling it by its name...Yup! Mexican! If you constantly refer to cereal as 'con fleys' or cake as 'kay-ke'...You're a Mexican. If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger......You might be a Mexican. If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at 'el parque'... GUess what? You are a Mexican. If your Tias and Abuela dress up in their Sunday best with heels and all to go to the 'pulga.' (AKA the Flea Market) ...Then, yes, you are a True Mexican. If most of the houses on your block are painted bright pink, mint green, and lavender. ..Mexican. If you use the bushes in front of your house, the fence, or the top of an old car to dry laundry. ...Yes, you're a Mexican. If you're congested and your mamasita rubbed 'Bicks' on you...You're Mexican. IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A TRUE MEXICAN. VIVA LA RAZA!!! You know you're laughing your head off. It's all in fun, so don't get all 'adoloridos.' Just pass it on so another Mexican can laugh too! Sheck your Mexican status If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas....Your a Mexican!! If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business...Yes, you're a Mexican. If you pronounce words beginning with the letter 'S' by putting an 'E' in front of it, (estop instead of stop)...big time Mexican. If you call a chair, a sher, you got it.... Mexican. If you have ever hurt yourself and your mama rubbed the area while chanting, ' Sana , Sana , Colita de rana.....' You're Mexican, big time!!! If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere, your car, truck, or tattooed on your back...Yes, you ARE a Mexican (proud one too). If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina, your wifa, your old lady, mija or your vieja, guess what?...Not only are you a Mexican, you're a cholo. If you throw a 'Grito' every time you hear Vicente Fernandez...then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican. If you have ever been pinched in church and been told 'pobrecito de ti si lloras' or 'Vas a ver orita que salgamos.' ...Yes, you're definitely a Mexican. If you grew up being called 'chamaca or chamaco' ..Mexican. If you grew up scared of La Llorona, or fear the dark because of El CuCuy! ..Yes! Mexican! Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing....You're in the Mexican Zone!!! If you ask for something by 'dame esa chingadera' instead of calling it by its name...Yup! Mexican! If you constantly refer to cereal as 'con fleys' or cake as 'kay-ke'...You're a Mexican. If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger......You might be a Mexican. If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at 'el parque'... GUess what? You are a Mexican. If your Tias and Abuela dress up in their Sunday best with heels and all to go to the 'pulga.' (AKA the Flea Market) ...Then, yes, you are a True Mexican. If most of the houses on your block are painted bright pink, mint green, and lavender. ..Mexican. If you use the bushes in front of your house, the fence, or the top of an old car to dry laundry. ...Yes, you're a Mexican. If you're congested and your mamasita rubbed 'Bicks' on you...You're Mexican. IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A TRUE MEXICAN. VIVA LA RAZA!!! You know you're laughing your head off. It's all in fun, so don't get all 'adoloridos.' Just pass it on so another Mexican can laugh too!

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