Mami, My Way: I Do More Parenting Than My Partner and That’s OK

Some of you may criticize me and think I am totally wrong, but I believe in motherly instincts.

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From the moment my first child was born, I felt a connection, and while it was all very overwhelming and new, I found that the ways to comfort my child came mostly intuitively for me. It was as if I could put myself in her “shoes” and know how much caressing she wanted, what made her fall asleep and more. But I can’t say the same about my hubby.

He is a present father. When our kiddies were babies, he never missed a doctor’s visit. He helped out with all the parental duties that come with a newborn baby, but it wasn’t the same. When he did it, I can see he just wasn’t as gentle or didn’t rock them at just the right tempo to comfort them the way I would. When Sienna was a baby, I would tell him, “Think as if you were her, what would make you feel good and comforted?”

Soon after, the children gave their own opinion. They would cry until I caressed them, and now they talk and usually ask for me to do most of the parental duties, unless it’s horseplay or maybe story time – and I’m cool with that. I know I can’t do it all, so my hubby definitely helps, but, for the most part, he follows my lead.

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Having two small children is chaotic as it is, and I find that me doing most of the duties, like bath time, bed time, dinner time, getting dressed and more, makes our days run smoother and more efficiently. At the end of the day, that is most important to me. I know exactly how to do things in order to get results, no fuss from the kids, and no frustration on my part watching my hubby do something I know I can do twice as quick and better. Everyone is happy.