Newsflash, ladies: You don’t need to be boo’d up to enjoy V-Day. Nor do you have to be all anti-Valentine’s Day and wish death on those cute teddy bears in Duane Reade. They didn’t do anything to you.
Let’s remix the vibe (still keeping it sexy tho!) and put the emphasis on self-love and hanging out with your Galentines, you know, your hermanas and your day ones that listen to all your Tinder shenanigans at 3 a.m.
1. Be Bad & Boujee in Heels
Be Bad & Boujee in Heels: You know how you pretend to be J.Lo while dancing around the house in your chancletas? It’s time to grab some tight jeans and heels and enroll in a dance class, workout or Aisha Francis’ Pump Camp; anything that focuses hip rolls, hair flips, knee slides and channeling your inner video vixen. Check out Pump Camp with your girls—or book a private class in NYC or L.A. FYI: Francis was Beyoncé’s dance captain and co-create of the “Crazy in Love” booty dance. Download the ClassPass app or Google the local Y to see who’s offering lap, chair or sexy workouts in your area.
2. Rub Yo’self
Rub Yo’self: It’s time to love the sexual being that you are with a tantric initiation. Contrary to popular belief, this practice isn’t just for couples and its purpose is enlightenment and awareness in and outside of the bedroom, so the true goal is beyond achieving the typical orgasm. Start slow with a relaxed talk about your sexual history and current situation. Yes, go ahead and admit to that four-month dry spell. We’ve all be there. Then, work with your Tantra guide, in a safe, loving space, to create the physical interaction that leads to two magical words: bliss and ecstasy.
3. Make Sexy Sips
Make Sexy Sips: You already know how to make a Black Slippery Nipple shot, right? Hint: All you need is Sambuca and Bailey’s Irish Cream. This time take it a step further and hire a mobile bartender, like Mixaritas, to show you and your besties how to craft specialty cocktails tailored to your different personalities. Make sure to create The Dirty Girls Social Club in honor of Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez famous book. Oh, and whip up (or buy) a batch of Slutty Brownies for any non-drinkers in the room.
4. Clone the D or the P
Clone the D or the P: Forget about 3-D printing a kidney. The geniuses at Holistic Wisdom teach you how to make your own non-toxic vibrating dildo ($47) or vagina ($33), well, really it’s just the labia majora (apparently there’s no safe way to make the inside of the love pocket) in the comfort of your bedroom with their Clone a Willy or Clone a Pussy kits. Note: Your ex’s delicious body parts are not included.
5. Shop for New Toys
Shop for New Toys: Treat your lovely lady lumps to some new things, but be stingy. Think about adult entertainment that’s strictly for a solo event, like the Babeland Silver Bullet ($15). Size doesn’t matter here. This mini-vibe is small, discreet and powerful. Or if you need stimulation that’s waterproof, try the “I’m Hooked” G-spot massager by Bedroom Kandi with its 7 vibration patterns. Tip: Stock up on batteries. You’re going to need ’em.