Let’s talk about NOT having sex, baby. Let’s talk about a study that suggests this is 13.8% of adults between the ages of 18-44. Let’s talk about the rare, like finding-a-unicorn rare, adults who are not having intercourse. Okay, this isn’t nearly as catchy as the original song.
But, you get the idea.
Now, I know what you’re thinking when someone says, “Adult virgin.”
That’s what I pictured when my friend set me up on as blind date with one. I agreed to it because I was in a vulnerable state after a long, dragged out break up with my first boyfriend. So I went on the blind date and imagined he’d show up with a “math teacher” shirt, and that he’d spend the night talking about his Second Life characters. Instead, he showed up in a white tee and jeans. He didn’t shy away about being a virgin. His confidence caught me off guard because no one ever talks about adult virgins.
The only thing anyone ever says about adult virgins is, “ARRGGHH…KELLY CLARKSON!” as they shout some of the insanely funny quotes from the cult classic, 40-Year-Old Virgin. So, is all the basura talked about adult virgins true? Are they all losers? Who never date? Hold on chicas, because these adult virgins are speaking up about these myths.
Myth #1: Adult virgins are super religious.
Many believe that the only reason someone wouldn’t have sex is because premarital sex is against their religion. But, for some adult virgins, that’s not the case at all. Noah, a 33-year-old senior architect, said, “My virginity status is a choice.” Kevin, a 26-year-old college student, agreed, adding, “It’s my conscious choice.” While both agree they are waiting until marriage or for a “unique love,” they stress that religion does not play a role in their decision.
Myth #2: They don’t even date!
According to the giant relationship book of relationship rules, every romantic relationship in the history of relationships must include sex. According to real people, you can date and not have intercourse. Some think that having your V-card (and trying to keep it) makes dating a lost cause. But, Noah, says that other factors are the problem. “My virginity never made my dating difficult, but my job did.” Allie, a 21-year-old woman, even had a long-term boyfriend for fours years, and they lived together for two of those years. So, myth busted!
Myth #3: They’ve never even seen a penis/vagina! Or, they’re totally inexperienced.
There’s a lot of gray area here as some define virginity as not having vaginal intercourse, while others believe abstaining from any type of sex (oral or anal) makes you a virgin. What really matters is what you believe. Those I spoke to stated that not having vaginal intercourse is what matters regarding virginity. So, it comes as no surprise when Carla said she’s had “a lot of sexual experience.” She firmly believes that “sex and intimacy isn’t just about vaginal intercourse.”
You see, adult virgins are just like you and me! They date, explore their sexuality, and make their own decisions about their bodies. So, let’s stop making assumptions and imagining that all adult virgins wear dorky clothes and decorate their apartments with framed posters of Asia.