Why Guys Wish Women Would Stop Faking Orgasms


This article originally appeared on Love Sujeiry. 

The female orgasm is a difficult thing to achieve. Every guy, no matter his level of sexual expertise, can attest to that. God made women and their vaginas difficult to understand. Penises? They’re as easy as completing a Melissa & Doug Vehicles Peg Puzzle while solving a vagina is as challenging as a Rubik's cube. Men aren’t equipped with the proper training to figure out something that difficult.

MORE: This Survey Tells You How Latinos and More Orgasm Around the World

This is why many women fake orgasms. This is why women own vibrators. And this is why, anytime a man can make a woman orgasm – legitimately orgasm – it’s a David Vs. Goliath story.

Men do understand why women fake orgasms:

-She doesn’t feel comfortable expressing her sexual frustration to the naked stranger who’s currently butchering her vagina like he’s jabbing for his lost car keys under the seat.

-She’s just not in the mood and her mind and body aren’t in the place needed to reach orgasm.

-He didn’t perform enough foreplay beforehand to give a real orgasm an anatomical chance.

But men rather women be honest. In fact, Edward, 28, thinks it’s silly to lie.

“They [women] lose all credibility when they fake an orgasm,” he said. However, he also places some of the responsibility on men. “Guys should be understanding enough and let their egos go, and realize that girls aren’t going to orgasm as frequently as us,” he added.

We understand: you want out of the situation and you want out of it now, so you fake your orgasm to exit without conflict. Faking your orgasm is the “ghosting” of sex — it allows you to end something without telling them why.

And it hurts men. As Jordan, 30, admitted, “It [faking an orgasm] definitely makes for a more awkward situation after and definitely brings down their sex appeal.”

Faking your orgasm is also selfish. It means you’re too concerned with your own needs to think about the guy you’re giving wrongful information to, as well as the poor girls’ vaginas he will attempt to solve in the future with the same shoddy skills. Anytime a guy actually knows what he’s doing in the bedroom it’s because he had a woman teach him. Every time you fake your orgasm you’re perpetuating and enabling a repetitive cycle of bad sexual experiences for the future women he gets into bed.  It’s like feeding a bear and reaffirming its bad behavior. If you keep feeding it garbage, it will keep eating it up. As Graham, 29, explained, “If you’re straight up about it and tell him what’s not working you’ll be doing every girl he ever sleeps with again a huge favor. Don’t be selfish, tell him what he’s doing wrong to help him.”

The thing is men can fake orgasms too — when they’re drunk and doing it from behind, sometimes men encounter equipment failure and need to escape. Quick pull out, curl away, and flush that shit down the toilet. Sure, it’s not nearly as pretty and poetic as when women do it. And there’s evidence at stake, so men won’t get away with it nearly as often.

But how would that make you feel? Probably helpless, unworthy, unwanted, and pretty darn deceived. That’s why we need you to stop faking orgasms. We need you to help us, instead of letting us continue to strut down a path of skewed sexual information — falsely affirming that we’re sex Gods who can turn any vagina we touch into a shooting star. We need you to have enough foresight to think about our sexual learning curve and the future vaginas who will be affected by it. You’re the only ones who hold the instruction manuals to your vaginas.

How? There are constructive ways to be honest without completely deflating our precious egos. If we’re doing something that’s not working, tell us what we could do to make it better. Tell us what you like and what doesn’t work for you. Don’t say “that’s not working!” but rather, “you know what you could do that would be even better…” and then guide us through it. We’re secure and smart enough to know we aren’t going to bat a perfect 1000.

PLUS: 5 Sex Positions To Orgasm Almost Every Single Time

Just remember, the next time a guy operates your vagina like a seasoned veteran and brings you to a genuine and authentic climax, it’s because he met a woman who was nice enough to teach him instead of fake her orgasm. Take ownership of your sexual pleasure, instead of faking it and blowing us off. Respect us enough to tell us the truth and how we can improve, and respect yourself enough to command the type of sexual treatment you deserve.