Monogamy is the preferred M.O. for most people in relationships, right? Well, not exactly. Research conducted by social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller revealed that one of the most common things that people in the United States fantasize about is being in an open relationship. And now that our society is increasingly embracing the nuances of sexuality and sexual preferences, more couples are choosing to open up their relationships.

“Open relationships can give you the chance to date different kinds of people,” says sexologist Megan Stubbs. “Maybe your new partner is nothing like your current one and that is exciting. You can also have different needs met with multiple partners whether that is emotionally or physically. And there’s also the opportunity to have a more vibrant social calendar!”

While fantasizing about it and actually acting upon it are two different things, if you’re thinking of giving consensual non-monogamy a try, there are a few keys to making it successful. Here’s what to keep in mind.

Do it for the right reasons
“A common misconception about an open relationship is that somehow one partner is getting ‘the better end’ of the deal,” says Stubbs. “In an ideal situation, both parties want this type of relationship and don’t feel coerced into going along with it just because one partner wants to.” She adds that another misconception is that opening a relationship can help with relationship problems, but that’s not usually a good idea. “Adding more variables like multiple partners is not the way to deal with issues in a relationship. In fact, it can exacerbate current ones, or even cause new ones.”

Commit to communication
The “open” aspect doesn’t just apply to the relationship itself, but also your communication with each other. Since consensual non-monogamy can require a great deal of trust in one another, it’s important that you discuss everything openly and honestly to prevent any misunderstandings. Be honest about your emotions, needs and boundaries—and how they might change as the relationship progresses.

“Chances are that you’ve already discussed things at length when opening your relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you’ve talked about everything,” says Stubbs. “Sometimes even with the best preparation, mistakes can happen. Keep communication open and talk through the issues that came up. Remember, that your partner should be your primary concern, so make sure you’re on solid ground with them before moving forward.”

Set guidelines, but not rules
Before you get started, make sure you’re on the same page about what having an open relationship means. You might like to discuss things such as dating mutual friends and how much detail you share with each other about your encounters with other people.

But while having mutually agreed-upon guidelines is important, the idea of a set of strict rules might not work for everyone. After all, part of the whole open relationship thing is exploring what you want and what feels good for you and your partner—and having too many rules can feel like the opposite of that. So start by focusing on what you each are hoping to get out of the relationship rather than what is forbidden, and leave room for flexibility and revision.

Another thing to agree upon from the outset is that it’s OK for either of you to decide that being in an open relationship isn’t working for you. You might think that it was what you wanted but, after putting it in practice, you realize that it’s not your thing.

To make the conversation easier, it can be helpful to determine a certain timeframe—say, every six months—to check in with each other and make sure you’re both still comfortable with the situation. Of course, if you realize sooner than that timeframe that open relationships aren’t what you want after all, you should both have the freedom to say so.

Take care of yourself
We’re not just talking about using contraception and protection (which are definitely important). A big part of a successful open relationship is when both partners feel comfortable in themselves and know their needs and desires. Think about why you are seeking an open relationship in the first place—if it’s to fill an emotional void in your current relationship, or within yourself, it may not be the healthiest course of action.

And make sure that the open communication extends beyond just your current partner. Be clear with everyone about the situation and what you are hoping to experience or explore. Likewise, be respectful of your new partners—while some people are comfortable with dating someone who is already in a relationship, others are not and so it’s important to give them the choice.

Approach the idea tactfully
So how do you broach the possibility of an open relationship with your partner in the first place? “A great way to bring it up with your partner is to say that you read an article about open relationships and to ask their opinion,” suggests Stubbs. “That will start off the conversation neutrally and you can get an honest answer from them without the pressure of them thinking they have to respond in a certain way. If they seem open to it, you can continue the conversation. And if they say it isn’t something they’d be into pursuing, you can just say ‘Oh OK, just wondered what you thought!’” The main thing to remember is no one should be pressured into having a relationship.

Read about what we can learn from polyamory.

Graphic by Elise Miguel

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

The post How to Have an Open Relationship appeared first on Latina.

Five ways to keep the spark alive.

It’s a fact that having a baby directly impacts personal identity and even the most intimate partnership(s). After having children, it becomes more difficult to carve out space for your relationship, and as the child continues to grow, your role as a caretaker becomes more demanding. When kids come into the picture, it changes the dynamic that you and your partner(s) once had alone, so it can take time to rebuild the intimacy that perhaps once felt so effortless. Sometimes couples struggle for months or even years with rebuilding intimacy within the relationship after having children.

It’s paramount to the success of the relationship to cultivate time to spend together when you’re awake, alive, and have the mental space to engage with one another. Regardless of what you do to rebuild a connection with your partner(s), it’s essential to take action and put in the work, which can often feel tough.

Intimacy after childbirth

After a vaginal birth, it usually takes at least six weeks for bleeding to stop and stitches to heal—but it’s a good idea to talk with both your partner and your doctor about when it’s safe to resume intercourse. Though parents who deliver via C-section may not have the same kind of damage to their birth canal, they should still hold off for about the same time: Birth, however you go through it, can be a traumatic experience that the body needs adequate time to recover from.

Even then, it’s important to set realistic expectations and to not be too hard on yourself: Women are just as likely to report sexual dysfunction (fatigue, lack of arousal, difficulty reaching orgasm) 12 weeks after childbirth no matter which way they delivered, according to research published in the International Journal of Impotence Research.

Research published in December 2017 in the journal Midwifery shows that 78% of women who completed a questionnaire resumed vaginal sex by three months postpartum, and 94% by six months. But emotional satisfaction with intimacy declines after childbirth, from 67.3% reporting high satisfaction at three months, to just under 50% at 18 months postpartum. It should be noted that the percentage of women reporting “very” pleasurable sex does increase postpartum, from 40.1% at three months to 49.1% at 18 months. So what does this say? Sex seems to improve once the body has more time to heal after childbirth—but emotional satisfaction declines as the child(ren) get older. Rekindling intimacy after childbirth may be a priority for a couple, then, but it’s critical to make sure there’s a good measure of emotional reconnecting happening, too.

How often do parents have sex?

For new parents, having sex as kids get older can only get more difficult. While there is some research that breastfeeding increases sexual motivation in women, many women experience the exact opposite effect, finding that breastfeeding kills their sex drive. The stats are also not promising. A survey conducted by the mattress company Leesa found that 46% of respondents said the quality of their sex life got worse after they had kids; in the same survey, 61% of women said they wanted to have sex less after they had kids, and 30% of men agreed. On average, parents had a 47% decrease in sexual frequency.

Kids are demanding in different ways at different ages, so it’s natural that finding time for intimacy (or even finding the desire for intimacy) will present some challenges. That said, it’s worth making the time—even if it’s necessary to put some time on the calendar and ask a grandparent to entertain the kids for a bit: research published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science in 2015 showed that couples who had sex at least once a week were happier than those who had sex less often, Time reported.

Here’s our list of ways to help cultivate and maintain a sense of intimacy with your spouse or partner as the difficulties of parenthood arise. 

Don’t be complacent

The first step is believing that you’re worthy of intimacy and that your own needs are still significant. If you’re waiting for the most convenient time to recreate intimate moments with your partner(s), you’ll be waiting a very long time. After children, the entire family dynamic shifts and it can take a lot of work to create special moments that once felt so effortless. There are so many additional stresses that come along with children, so it’s easy to cast your romantic life to the side. But research says that if you continue to wait it out, recapturing that intimacy becomes more and more difficult as time passes by, the New York Times reported in 2019.

Any partnership requires work—it needs to be nurtured regularly to thrive. Researchers

say that avoiding complacent behavioral patterns can be as simple as touching more or being conscious of physical connection, which is a primal way of bonding with your partner(s).

Slow it down

After a vaginal birth, the body takes at least six weeks to heal. Often both partners are eager to have sex by this time, but sometimes they’re simply not ready even though they’ve been physically cleared to do so. Once medical issues are ruled out, doctors advise couples to try starting over within the relationship by rekindling the sexual connection perhaps in the same way they may have done so when they first started dating or getting to know one another. Things such as making out, cuddling, holding one another, and spending time alone can help encourage sexual acts and a gradual movement in the direction of bare skin contact.

Studies say that when a birth parent is involved, this person is simply getting used to a brand new body and feeling comfortable in their skin once again. The entire meaning of their body and what it does has changed, and it’s sometimes difficult to take in so much change at once. It’s also important to remember that intimacy doesn’t simply equate to sex—it’s about loyalty, trust, commitment, enjoying small moments together, and getting through the more difficult transformative times with each other.

Nurture your individual needs

When children come into the picture, it’s easy to place yourself and your relationship in the foreground. But it’s so important to notice your own physical and emotional needs. In doing this, you’ll feel more empowered and energized to nurture your relationship with your partner(s) as well. Sometimes everyday encounters can feel like just another task on the daily to-do list, but it’s essential to carve out time for yourself and your partner(s). Many couples go through periods where cultivating intimacy feels almost intrusive, and this is a key sign that you each need time for self-care.

It’s important to ask yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself so that you’re able to feel connected to your sexuality and share that with your partner(s). That can come down to something simple, such as taking time out of the day to meditate, read a book, or go to the gym. Engaging in the act of self-care is extremely important for couples as well. Write down a few things that you used to enjoy doing together that helped to create a sense of closeness, and make adjustments within your new daily routine to create moments of physical and emotional intimacy.

Fantasize

One of the best ways to nurture and spark a sense of sexual intimacy is to think about what turns you on. Simply reminding yourselves of the great sexual connection and experiences that you had together can make room for, or cultivate the desire to have more. It’s important to remind yourself what traits you love about your partner(s) and what things they bring to the relationship.

Sexual desire doesn’t usually just come out of nowhere spontaneously—instead, it comes from a place called responsive desire which is directly corrected to erotic stimulation. It’s helpful to think about significant sexy moments that you experienced together, which can often motivate the body and mind to want those kinds of encounters again.

Create a safe space

Making your bedroom into a safe space can truly help to cultivate moments of intimacy. Within these protective confines, it can feel easier to bring up the aspects of your personality that feel in line with erotic desire and connection. You can physically and mentally close the door to the outside world for a moment and focus on sexual connection. Often, those physical spaces can become reminders of the fact that you’re now a caregiver. It’s important to remove those things from your physical and mental space to help you make sure your bedroom is thought of as a true sanctuary.

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

The post Reconnecting After Having Kids appeared first on Latina.

In the realm of sartorial expression, lingerie can feel a bit oxymoronic. For one, it’s typically designed to live under your clothes…which feels contradictory to the whole project of fashion (fashions without exhibitionism??!). Moreover, in practice, we often put it on expressly to…take off. Sure, technically you also take off any number of garments throughout the day, but it’s safe to say the only “outfit” you don specifically for removal is, well, lingerie. 

That said, undergarments haven’t always been a free-spirited alcove of the sartorial world. When we think back to our earliest “intimates,” they often come in the form of stiff, waist-shaping corsets (torture devices, if you will). So, how did we go from strapping ourselves into cloth prisons to delighting in the breeze that comes along with a good ‘ole pair of crotchless panties? Here’s a brief look at the history of lingerie. 

The 1700s & 1800s: Corsets

For much of the 18th century, your classic corset reigned supreme. And the earliest version often referred to as a “stay,” was crafted not with stiff cloth, but with whalebone—which meant breathing was simply out of the question. And while these garments did their due diligence in streamlining the waist, they were hardly sexy. They more accurately resembled armor than they did the corsets of today. 

By the time the 1800s came around, then, we were still strapping women needlessly into these pseudo straight jackets—but they’d gotten marginally sexier. In addition to a generally skimpier silhouette, these were also designed to straighten the back and lift the breasts, and they came in any number of luxury, ornate fabrics. 

The 1910s: Drawers & Nightgowns

It’s hard not to read “drawers” as the butt of a joke (ha!). But the fairly rotund underwear forebearers were indeed central to the lingerie scene in the early 20th century. In fact, before drawers—which were close-crotched—came about, many women wore open-crotched panties. Not for salacious purposes, though—merely because close-crotched undergarments were reserved for men. That said, these were among the first bottom garments designed to be seen.

From a more delicate end, though, this was also around the time when the bridal nightgown came into play. And these items were something to behold: Sheer, stunning, draping silhouettes designed to showcase (while masking) the female body. 

The 1920s: Slips

While we’re all more than familiar with the contemporary slip dress, the introduction of slips as undergarments in the ‘20s certainly signified a move towards sexual liberation. When the fashion of the era gave way to flapper dresses rather than ball gowns, a more boyish natural figure went into style—which meant we could do away with the whole corset deal in favor of a far more comfortable silhouette. 

The 1950s: Pin-ups & La Perla 

The ‘50s saw the emergence of pin-up advertisements: Suggestive models in sultry poses dressed in beautifully rendered undergarments that were meant to be seen. These ads, which appealed to both men and women, marked the first time undergarments could be properly celebrated—and shopped for—openly. 

Fortunately, 1954 also marked the arrival of La Perla—a luxury lingerie brand that has long been known for melding the sophisticated and the salacious. As a high-end brand that treated undergarments like jewelry, it added a new level of class to the lingerie market. 

The 1970s: Victoria’s Secret

In the wake of La Perla, 1977 saw the arrival of Victoria’s Secret—a more affordable, accessible lingerie option. Roy Raymond, the company’s founder, claimed he hated the process of shopping for lingerie in department stores. He wanted an option that was neither dowdy nor reserved for special occasions like, say, your wedding night. Call it the people’s lingerie. 

The 1980s: Brights & Boas

Like with all things in the ‘80s, this particular decade gave way to some newfound maximalism in the lingerie department. In line with the fashion of the era, we began to see bright colors, louder textiles, and most importantly, lots of feathers. 

The 1990s: Underwear, But Make It Fashion

While lingerie-for-show had certainly been normalized by the ‘90s, this was the first time we saw undergarments donned as proper fashion. Beginning with Madonna’s iconic Jean-Paul Gautier conical top, we began to see slip-dresses on runways and at movie premieres that were intentionally sheer to reveal undergarments (think: Kate Moss).

This was also the decade in which the famed “wonderbra” came into style—among the first, widely popularized push-up bras—giving way to a whole new era of fashion that prized lifted, perky breasts more than ever before. Oh, and unsurprisingly, this was also when our first class of Victoria’s Secret angels was crowned, both editorially and on the runway. 

The 2000s: G-Strings, Baby

It’s not that thongs didn’t exist before the early aughts, but rather, this was the first time the ‘old G-string was made decidedly glamorous. Which is to say, along with the emergence of low-rise jeans, you were certainly seeing a hell of a lot of above-the-hip, whale-tail thong action.

The 2010s: Bodycon

Welcome to Kardashian territory! By the time Kim K. had risen to prominence, her signature shapewear-esque garments had followed suit. Synched waists with skin-tight, revealing dresses were simply the look—whether or not your donned other garments on top. 

2020-Present: Sporty Sets

Even pre-quarantine, a more comfortable iteration of lingerie had come into style. And yes, we’re thinking specifically of those Calvin Klein matching sets. But here’s the exciting thing: In the grand history of lingerie, this is arguably the first time we’ve praised comfort and ease in the “intimates” realm without discounting sex appeal. As it turns out, the whole sporty spice look is still a serious turn-on.

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

The post A Brief History of Lingerie appeared first on Latina.

Officially, nobody has ever had sex in space. What about solo sex, though?

It’s not something NASA has ever been particularly keen to talk about, but certain things can be figured out based on how the rest of the body is treated by weightlessness. Gravity is key to a lot of the body’s processes—the parts below the waist generally benefit from being there, thanks to a gravity assist. Spending extended periods floating around means less fluid can travel to the genitals, fairly key to the physical side of arousal, and the body generates less testosterone, crucial to arousal in men and women.

Life finds a way, though. With the sheer amount of time people spend up there, it’s inevitable. Russian cosmonaut Valeri Polyakov spent 437 days spanning 1994 and 1995 onboard the Mir space station. A 2019 survey by a condom company found the average man to masturbate three times a week—at that rate, Polyakov would have had 180 or so periods of him-time even without the stress, loneliness, and everything else. It would have been something of a miracle if he didn’t take himself in hand a few times up there.

And that miracle didn’t take place—Polyakov once noted in his diary, “Psychological Support Service sent us some nice, ‘colorful’ movies which help to recover our will, to act like a normal adult male. There is nothing to be ashamed of.” When Polyakov’s trip was in the planning stages, the idea was floated of sending a sex doll up there with him. Polyakov declined, concerned that he would end up preferring the company of the doll even after returning to Earth.

Other veterans of space travel have been fairly frank about getting it done up there. Speaking to the author Mary Roach for her book Packing For Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void, Russian cosmonaut Aleksandr Laveykin described how things went on his 174-day trip to space: “Everybody is doing it, everybody understands. It’s nothing. My friends ask me, ‘How are you making sex in space?’ I say, ‘By hand!’”

In his memoir Riding Rockets: The Outrageous Tales of a Space Shuttle Astronaut, astronaut Mike Mullane writes that at one point he had “an erection so intense it was painful”, adding that he “could have drilled through kryptonite.” Astronaut Scott Kelly was asked about it in an interview and opted to “take the fifth”.

On long missions, male astronauts are at least informally encouraged to ejaculate regularly to avoid prostatitis, with a 2014 paper by NASA advisor Marjorie Jenkins concluding that prolonged exploratory travel would benefit from the people involved doing a bit of prolonged exploring of their own, due to infrequent ejaculation resulting in accumulation of prostate secretions and bacterial growth.

No such advice, formal or informal, is in place for female astronauts, however. While around 90% of astronauts thus far have been men, only 69 women have ever been to space, 100% of the astronauts that have come back to Earth and talked about touching themselves while up there have been men.

(Despite the future of space travel relying on men and women being able to spend enormous lengths of time in space, it hasn’t historically been the most progressive of areas. The all-male crew of Apollo 12 found a surprise waiting for them in their logbooks in the form of Playboy centerfolds hidden within the pages, while the second woman ever in space, Russian Svetlana Savitskaya was presented with an apron by her crewmates.)

Privacy is also an issue. While Mir or the ISS might afford a bit of alone time, on a shuttle you’re pretty much all in there together, all the time. Other than heading to the toilet for a bit of alone time – and the communal poop-pipe isn’t the sexiest of environments—you would generally be reliant on others’ willingness to act busy somewhere on the other side of the room and pretend they didn’t know what was going on. This is how it works in submarines, where everyone simply learns to ignore movements coming from behind the flimsy curtain surrounding a “sleeping” crewmate.

Efficiency would seem to be key, then—getting straight to the point rather than taking one’s time. Sweat gathering on the surface of the body tends zero-gravity to pool together and float off in large clumps – again, not something likely to enhance anyone’s experience. All in all, until space travel gets a bit more luxurious and people can enjoy themselves, solo space sex missions are probably best done on the DL. Unlike space travel itself, it’s all about the destination rather than the journey.

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

The post How Astronauts Masturbate in Space appeared first on Latina.

Nobody knows when the first human looked at a butthole and thought, “Maybe I could stick something in that.” It almost certainly happened a very long time ago though—there are depictions of anal sex dating back pretty much as long as there has ever been art, and sex devices dating back pretty much as long as there have ever been tools, so it seems safe enough to say that Device A sometimes found itself in Slot B.

However, not all bodily entry points are created equal. The anus kind of… keeps going, and a flared or flanged bottom (as in, the bottom of the thing, not the bottom the thing goes into) is a necessary design feature to prevent anything getting lost up there and entering rectal foreign object territory.

The first proper butt plugs complete with flanged ends were marketed as medical devices. “Dr. Young’s Ideal Rectal Dilators” originated in the early 1900s and are immediately recognizable to modern eyes (and still occasionally change hands as collectors’ items). They came complete with a laundry list of ailments they were said to treat: headaches, insomnia, bad breath, acne, anemia, anorexia, hemorrhoids, nervousness, irritability, and cold extremities were all said to be fixed in a tick with a bit of ass-play. Ads for the products claimed they could be used “by any intelligent person”. Dr. Young also claimed his dilators could cure insanity, making the extremely bold claim that “three-fourths of all the howling maniacs of the world” could be cured with a few weeks of butt-pluggin’. 

Unfortunately for Young, a lawsuit brought about by the Food and Drug Administration put an end to his rear-based medical shenanigans. The FDA ruled—not entirely insensibly—that his claims were not backed up by any evidence, regardless of how much of his “Piloment” people were using. The company was dissolved, and all stock was destroyed. 

Working at around the same time as Dr. Young was George Starr White, an eccentric and enthusiastic practitioner of a lot of fringe medical beliefs. White was interested in everything, from auras to using light as medicine to reinventing spelling—he titled his memoir My Biography—and took a particular interest in what he saw as the anus’s organ-unifying properties. In 1928 he began selling a device entitled Valens’ Bio-Dynamo Prostatic and Rectal Normalizer. In 1931 the FDA shut him down.

Something incredibly difficult to ascertain is what anyone genuinely believed. Was Dr. Young pushing a medical cure-all, or had he figured out a way to publicly sell implements intended for anal stimulation at a time when that simply wouldn’t have been permitted? How many of these implements were purchased for potential medical reasons, and how many customers were reading between the lines, will never be known.

Due to the non-copyrightable nature of the butt plug—not a specific set of dimensions as much as an idea, something one knows when one sees—nobody holds the patent for it. There is a scary-sounding patent registered in 1958 for the “hammer butt plug”, but it turns out to just be… a part of a hammer. The various meanings of both ‘butt’ and ‘plug’ mean the patent office is jammed with inadvertently hilarious documents like this one for a USB adaptor—nothing at all to do with the human anus—that mentions butt plugs a dozen times. 

The straightforward sale of butt plugs with no touted medical benefits beyond fun first took place in the 1960s with the birth of the sex shop in Germany, and soon enough they were being freely sold both from mail-order catalogs and sex shops worldwide. The dramatic rise in the use of silicone in the 1990s was a bit of a game-changer, replacing the rubber that had previously been used—silicone is a lot more durable and easy to clean, resulting in both in a wider variety of imaginative shapes and dishwasher-safe objects.

For a fairly rudimentary-seeming implement with no moving parts, it’s still being developed—in 2019, sex researcher Nicole Prause added piezoelectric plates to some store-bought butt plugs and created a pioneering medical device, a way of measuring the physiology of orgasms.

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

The post The Intimate History of the Butt Plug appeared first on Latina.

Studies have proved that the best sexual interactions are often accompanied by lube. Looking back at its history, lubricants have been used around the world for 1000’s of years. In the early days, there was an array of creative lubricants used by different cultures and countries. Two of the first known homemade lubricants were the Greeks with their use of olive oil, and the Japanese with their innovative smashed up yams. While it has become increasingly popular throughout the years, it’s certainly not a new item.

Here’s our timeline detailing the long history of personal lubricant.

600 BC

In ancient China, carrageenan from seaweed was first used in foods and medicines for its thickening properties. This gelatinous substance was made by boiling red seaweed into a thick, slippery, and water-soluble liquid. Naturally, these properties made it serve as an excellent lubricant. Researchers estimate that people in Japan, Korea, and China used this to moisturize and stimulate tissue for well over a thousand years. Carrageenan is still used today as an ingredient in foods, beauty products, lubricated condoms, and lubricants.

350 BC

The earliest known use of personal lubricant dates back to the ancient Greeks and Romans who anointed themselves with olive oil as a sexual aid. These cultures developed beyond their hunter-gatherer ancestors and had time to focus on things like agriculture, philosophy, and even sex. As a result, olive oil (and other vegetable oils) were widely available and used for many applications. Historically, Ancient Greeks were described as sex-positive and were very accepting and open to male homosexuality. When sex was focused in areas that don’t naturally provide lubrication, ancient Greek innovation provided a solution: the origin of lube.

The 1600s

The 17th century saw examples of lubricants used in conjunction with animal intestine condoms in both China and Japan. While the Chinese used vegetable oils much like the Greeks and Romans, the Japanese preferred a substance made from grated and mashed yams called tororo-jiru. During the Edo period of 1603 to 1868, the Japanese also used tororo-jiru to provide lubrication during sex and masturbation. During Japan’s Edo period, clove oil was a popular lubricant, and it’s still used as an ingredient in today’s more modern versions.

The 1700s

The earliest documented references to saliva as a personal lubricant were penned in an 18th-century compendium of Chinese jokes.

The 1800s

Robert Chesebrough patented the first petroleum jelly, a petrol by-product that he called Vaseline, in 1872. Although it wasn’t intended for sex, it became a popular lube choice by the mid-1900s because it’s a thick compound with waterproof properties. In the late 19th century, chemist Frederic Kipping pioneered the study of a polymer that revolutionized many manufacturing industries and made one of the largest scientific contributions to modern lubricant. He called this polymer silicone.

The 1900s

The first commercial production of lube came in 1904 when K-Y Jelly was sold as a “surgical aid.” Consumers quickly discovered its usefulness in the bedroom, and due to its popularity, a non-sterile version was on store shelves later that year. By 1917 K-Y Jelly was introduced and specifically marketed as a personal lubricant, but it remained available by prescription only until 1980. In 1911, Crisco was the first hydrogenated oil widely available and it quickly gained popularity for those who wanted an alternative to liquid oils due to its thickness and viscosity.

The 1970s

In the 1970s a popular women’s health and sexuality book titled “Our Bodies, Ourselves” made mention of personal lubricant in its pages. By 1975, mail-order catalogs with personal lubricant became available in small quantities but still with few options.

The 1980s & 1990s

By the end of the 1980’s, lubricant became available in some drugstores in America and Europe, but it didn’t break into mainstream culture until the 1990s when many consumers began to use it for more than just a medical product. Cream lubricant also gained popularity in the early to mid-1990’s as an alternative to water-based lubricants. Cream lubes were able to avoid the sticky or tacky feeling of water-based lubes, which was the primary complaint for those products.

21st Century

By the 2000’s, many various lubricants and new brands were created with a multitude of options available. Specialty lubricants also became a thing during this decade, which offered new things such as tingling, warming, desensitizing, flavoring, and cooling. As the availability of lube began to shift, so did the attitudes towards the use of the product. In the 2000s, the first people even began speaking about the product in a less taboo manner with an understanding that lube can actually make good sex even better.

Today’s modern lubricants are much safer than those early versions, and it’s become a topic that’s more openly discussed with better understanding around the product and its uses. There have been major advances since those early first lubricants, though the idea behind them has always been to enhance and allow people to enjoy sex.

Graphics by Elise Miguel

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

The post The History of Lube appeared first on Latina.

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Hell hath no fury like an infected urinary tract. And for those of us susceptible to the wrath of the dreaded UTI, it’s rarely an isolated instance. Once the seal is broken…well, you know the drill. 

Now, the most colloquial consensus on UTIs is pretty uniform: the painful, pesky infections arise most frequently in women after neglecting to urinate post-intercourse. But let it be known that this is not the only way one can contract a UTI: The infection is precisely as it sounds –– when bacteria enter the urinary tract, it becomes infected. And while it makes sense that sex would play a role here, a UTI can just as easily arrive from, say, failing to change out of sweaty workout clothes, or swimming in questionable water. Oh, and men can get them too. 

Now, if you’re having trouble identifying your particular malady, UTI symptoms are generally easy to spot. You’ll experience a frequent need to urinate –– and a burning sensation when you pee. You may experience cramps, back pain, or fatigue. And if untreated, your UTI can develop into a kidney infection…so, whether or not your initial symptoms feel particularly severe, you’ll certainly want to take care of the problem. 

Fortunately, there are a handful of different antibiotics that can help treat UTIs –– and if you can’t get to your doctor right away, over the counter options like AZO can be instrumental in managing your pain (be warned, these will typically turn your pee a fluorescent shade of Jolly Rancher orange). But, like with any antibiotic strain, your body can build up a resistance to a number of these prescriptions –– so you should do your darndest to keep infections at bay, to begin with. Thus, without further ado: We give you our preventative Guide to Urinary Tract Infections.  

Pee. After. Sex.

That’s the long and the short of it. We know, it sucks. Your partner might have roommates. The bathroom might be far away. A journey to the water closet may require that you both locate your clothing and put it on. But trust us, you’ll be kicking yourself when you’re walking to your local urgent care for pain-relieving antibiotics. 

Drink Water

Hydration is one of those things that’s taken as gospel in our present-day and age. “Drink water” is our universally agreed-upon wellness mantra. But we assure you, we’re not trying to sell you a chic, reusable water bottle here. Staying hydrated –– and, in turn, urinating frequently –– will help keep your urinary tract clean and bacteria-free. Oh, and on that note: you can forget the myth about cranberry juice as a UTI preventative. Research hasn’t proven a substantial impact on this one –– so just play it safe and double down on the H2O. 

Avoid Perfumed Bath Products

While it is, of course, the key that you keep things clean, using soaps, bubble bath products, or body washes that are heavily perfumed can certainly irritate the urinary tract. So when it comes to washing your genitals, opt for simple, hypoallergenic, and unscented options whenever possible. 

Two Words: Clean Underwear

We know, you’re not heathens. But spending too long in sweaty workout clothes or leaving the same pair of underwear on just a little too long can certainly cause infections in the UTI prone among us. Oh, and on that note, the kind of intimates you’re donning can have an impact, too: Whenever you can, opt for cotton undergarments instead of synthetic materials like nylon. 

Wipe With Care

Another easy way to inflame the urinary tract is by way of fecal matter –– which, naturally, can occur fairly easily while using the bathroom. So here’s your simple solution: wipe from front to back to keep things clean. 

Consult Your Doctor

If you’re taking the above, simple precautions, and you’re still finding yourself plagued with UTIs, it may be the result of a more persistent problem or an antibiotic-resistant infection. Be sure to consult your doctor about trying new medications, or visiting a urologist. 

Graphic by Elise Miguel

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

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Much like the vagina or, say, Greek antiquity, the penis is rife with mythology. For all its plentiful capabilities, it’s also a vessel for ample misinformation, much of which is widely believed to be true. So it follows that the owners of said sex orangs oft find themselves asking the (entirely reasonable) question: Is my penis normal? 

Well, for the sake of quelling the parts of our brains most susceptible to believing that all other bodies are more capable/hairless/larger/smoother/etc than our own, we’re rounding up the most commonly maintained myths about the tender shlong—and debunking them. Here’s what you need to know: 

You’re either a grower or a shower

So, this one’s not entirely shrouded in myth. The grower/shower phenomenon is indeed real. But the idea that you’re one or the other is where the myth originates. When a penis “gets hard” so to speak, the thing becomes inflated with blood (upon arousal, blood cells rush on over to fill that penile tissue). For most folks, that means some increase in size –– but regardless, the size of your flaccid penis does not contingently make you any more or less likely to grow in length mid-erection (i.e. showers can also be growers and vice versa).

Bigger is always better

It’s a tale as old as time: the bigger the better. And like with Costco products, it’s simply not always true. Much of pleasure, you might be shocked to learn, has to do with how you wield it, not how long it is. Women have been cited repeatedly to prefer smaller penises for personal reasons. All the same, it’s in the eyes of the beholder…and most beholders will tell you: size extremity is certainly not a prerequisite for mind-blowing sex.

Excessive masturbation is bad for your reproductive capabilities

Ever wonder about depleting the ‘ol wank bank? Ever wanna punch someone in the face for using the term “wank bank”? Well, either way, we’re here to tell you that masturbation at any interval does not predispose you to a lower sperm count—nor does it impact the potency of said sperm. 

Micropenises abound

Due to the whole “bigger is better” myth, it should come as no surprise that self-esteem issues around penis size are far from infrequent. There’s even a corresponding syndrome: Small Penis Syndrome (SPS) –– which is also known colloquially as “locker-room syndrome.” The ethos is largely self-explanatory: The endless act of comparing drives self-consciousness (and at worst, self-hatred). And according to recent studies, symptoms of SPS are far more common in men with standard-size penises than micropenises. It’s just jargon around size (and, of course, imagery) that causes a sense of body dysmorphia. Which is to say, maybe it’s time we devoted a bit more effort to publicly normalizing a penis that’s not somewhat miraculous in length. 

Your circumcision status will impact your sex life

Circumcised vs. uncircumcised is like the sexual Coke or Pepsi. It’s a matter of preference—and your selection is likely couched in menial details. Here’s the thing: While you’ll certainly encounter differing opinions re: preference amongst partners, the idea that your pleasure will be directly impeded by your circumcision status has no grounding in science. Sure, there are few conclusive studies done here, but as of right now, you’ve got no reason to believe that your ability to achieve orgasm should be affected by what you have or have not had snipped. 

Graphic by Elise Miguel

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maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.

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