This article originally appeared on YourTango, by Renee Slansky
You'll be just fine without this guy.
It hurts. I know it hurts.
Like literally. You can feel it shatter into a thousand pieces.
All you want to do is dissolve into a puddle of tears and preferably sleep until everything is better in 10 years’ time.
Time becomes your enemy, and with each day you slowly morph into a robot, void of any feeling, but coping … just barely.
It’s one extreme to the other.
Total devastation, to just feeling completely emotionally empty. Like this big hole is left where they used to be.
It’s a grieving process that you start to get swallowed up in even when you try to fight it, it slowly folds around your heart and mind.
Then you get that text. That single text. That little message that says “I miss you”.
The one that causes your blood to flow, your heart to race and your mind to follow.
Your senses come to life and all you can think about is that maybe, just maybe there’s a chance it could work again.
I’ve been there. Deep in the black hole and then being drawn to the glimmer of hope that they dangle so tantalizingly in front of you. It’s a dangerous place to be because all our rational thinking is overwhelmed by our emotions
We automatically forget the pain they caused, or why it didn’t work out.
In times of distress and longing, it’s easy to only remember the good times, because that is what brings us comfort, and that is what we want to cling to.
But it didn’t work out. And there is a reason for that, a reason that caused you a lot of pain and that is something that shouldn’t be ignored.
Yes, relationships are hard work and very rarely do they work with the same person the second time around. You could be an exception to the rule, he could be too.
But let’s not get lost in the moment and forget the knowing signs of why you should just keep walking, even if it kills you to.
Here are four of the most glaring signs that you should not take your ex back, even if he begs:
1: He isn’t remorseful.
If this man, whom you love so dearly, is not showing remorse or taking responsibility for his actions that caused the break up…then why are you allowing him back in? Relationships are a two-way street, no one is perfect, we get it. But each person needs to be accountable to the other and to their actions.
Maybe he wasn’t toxic, maybe it was your baggage that broke things apart. However, it takes two to tango and you need to look at why he is now contacting you again.
Does he want to make it work, like really make it work, is he truly sorry for what he has done? Or is this just his way of keeping you on tender hooks because he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
His attitude throughout the break-up will give you a good indication of how he really feels, so don’t forget to look at the whole process and not just the part where the prince comes to rescue you.
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