Phallus Myths

MAUDE X LATINABy 2021-11-03T12:01:50-04:00September 16th, 2021|

Debunking common misconceptions and declarations.

Much like the vagina or, say, Greek antiquity, the penis is rife with mythology. For all its plentiful capabilities, it’s also a vessel for ample misinformation, much of which is widely believed to be true. So it follows that the owners of said sex orangs oft find themselves asking the (entirely reasonable) question: Is my penis normal? 

Well, for the sake of quelling the parts of our brains most susceptible to believing that all other bodies are more capable/hairless/larger/smoother/etc than our own, we’re rounding up the most commonly maintained myths about the tender shlong—and debunking them. Here’s what you need to know: 

You’re either a grower or a shower

So, this one’s not entirely shrouded in myth. The grower/shower phenomenon is indeed real. But the idea that you’re one or the other is where the myth originates. When a penis “gets hard” so to speak, the thing becomes inflated with blood (upon arousal, blood cells rush on over to fill that penile tissue). For most folks, that means some increase in size –– but regardless, the size of your flaccid penis does not contingently make you any more or less likely to grow in length mid-erection (i.e. showers can also be growers and vice versa).

Bigger is always better

It’s a tale as old as time: the bigger the better. And like with Costco products, it’s simply not always true. Much of pleasure, you might be shocked to learn, has to do with how you wield it, not how long it is. Women have been cited repeatedly to prefer smaller penises for personal reasons. All the same, it’s in the eyes of the beholder…and most beholders will tell you: size extremity is certainly not a prerequisite for mind-blowing sex.

Excessive masturbation is bad for your reproductive capabilities

Ever wonder about depleting the ‘ol wank bank? Ever wanna punch someone in the face for using the term “wank bank”? Well, either way, we’re here to tell you that masturbation at any interval does not predispose you to a lower sperm count—nor does it impact the potency of said sperm. 

Micropenises abound

Due to the whole “bigger is better” myth, it should come as no surprise that self-esteem issues around penis size are far from infrequent. There’s even a corresponding syndrome: Small Penis Syndrome (SPS) –– which is also known colloquially as “locker-room syndrome.” The ethos is largely self-explanatory: The endless act of comparing drives self-consciousness (and at worst, self-hatred). And according to recent studies, symptoms of SPS are far more common in men with standard-size penises than micropenises. It’s just jargon around size (and, of course, imagery) that causes a sense of body dysmorphia. Which is to say, maybe it’s time we devoted a bit more effort to publicly normalizing a penis that’s not somewhat miraculous in length. 

Your circumcision status will impact your sex life

Circumcised vs. uncircumcised is like the sexual Coke or Pepsi. It’s a matter of preference—and your selection is likely couched in menial details. Here’s the thing: While you’ll certainly encounter differing opinions re: preference amongst partners, the idea that your pleasure will be directly impeded by your circumcision status has no grounding in science. Sure, there are few conclusive studies done here, but as of right now, you’ve got no reason to believe that your ability to achieve orgasm should be affected by what you have or have not had snipped. 

Graphic by Elise Miguel


maude and Latina are working together to inform and educate Latinx communities on sexual wellness and health. Founded by Eva Goicochea, maude is a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people.